white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wish i was in the wii world.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
