white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
