her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
handjob tips. give me some.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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