Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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