Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
