Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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