Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
