Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
