I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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