if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
