He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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