i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
