someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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