Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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