I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
