I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
