You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
