dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
