Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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