Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The air was thick with penises
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
