even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
