Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
