I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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