i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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