I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
