He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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