After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
