i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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