she peed on how many people?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
