Having a random hookup so left but love u
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
