I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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