Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.

Fav 12 1514 994
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(720): View more from Colorado

I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.

Fav 8 2936 869
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(847): View more from Illinois

I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.

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(530): View more from California

I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!

Fav 62 6951 1073
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(727): View more from Florida

I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.

Fav 12 5868 1480
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(317): View more from Indiana

The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.

Fav 25 5660 1525
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(712): View more from Iowa

Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer

Fav 10 5822 1613
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(318): View more from Louisiana

Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.

Fav 2 762 532
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.

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