I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
