whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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