mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
