fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
