if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
