I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
