This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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