Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Let's get the cat blown out
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
