Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We had to coat check the pizza.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
