I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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