just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
