My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
