Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
