Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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