I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
