smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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