the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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