shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
